Marriage is a sacred union, and for Christians, it is a covenant before God that celebrates the love and commitment between a man and a woman.  It is rooted in God’s design and purpose, as Genesis 2:24 says “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Our marriages are intended to reflect the oneness and unity found in the Trinity (husband/wife/God reflects Father/Son/Spirit).  In this article, we'll explore the beauty of Christian marriage and ten ways to build a strong foundation that stands the test of time, with the guidance of God's Word.

Seek God's Guidance Together:

The best way to start your married life is by seeking God's guidance together. Pray together, study the Bible together, and invite God into every aspect of your marriage. Remember, a three-stranded cord is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12).  As your marriage continues, praying together, and studying together is important for your relationship, and keeps God in the center, where He belongs. 

Embrace Imperfections:

Let's be real; we all have quirks and flaws. Embrace each other's imperfections and see them as opportunities for growth and understanding. Love and acceptance go a long way in building a solid foundation.  Sometimes those things that seemed “cute” in the beginning can begin to grate on you after some time — but it is not your job nor is it within your power to change your spouse! Love all of your spouse - the good and that which doesn’t seem so good, and if something is getting to you, pray that God will change your perspective and attitude about that. The only thing you can control is your response and reactions!  And remember - you are not perfect either! 

Communicate with Love:

Communication is key! Talk to each other openly and honestly, but do it with love and respect. Love and respect involve selflessness, understanding and a willingness to honor one another.  Remember, "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up" (Ephesians 4:29).  By communicating with kindness, patience, and understanding, couples can foster unity and resolve conflict amicably.  Remember Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” There are many great resources available to learn techniques for active listening and communicating effectively. Read/watch some of those together!

Laugh Together:

Marriage can be serious stuff, but don't forget to laugh together! Laughter is like a sweet melody that lightens the load and strengthens your bond. Studies have found that people with a strong sense of humor are less likely to experience depression and burn-out. Proverbs 17:22 says “laughter (or a cheerful heart) is good medicine.” There is something really special about “inside jokes” in a marriage that can soften a mood and get you through a rough patch. It’s tough to be angry at someone who can make you laugh.  Just don’t laugh AT your spouse, or make jokes at his expense, especially in front of others! Protect your husband’s heart above all!

Prioritize Quality Time:

In the hustle and bustle of life, make sure to prioritize quality time with each other. It's not about the quantity; it's about the depth of connection you build.  If you are not spending time together, that communication and laughing together stuff we just talked about is too rare!  It’s easy to let career and children, and all of the activities of family and church life rob us of our time together, as a couple - but our marriages will still be there when we retire and the kids are grown and gone, so don’t let those things totally eclipse your relationship!  Plan for spending time together, just the two of you, and protect that relationship.

Acts of Kindness:

Matthew 7:12 tells us “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you”.  We know that as the golden rule, of course - and it’s especially pertinent in marriage!  The words we use matter.  Compliment him - build him up.  Little acts of kindness can work wonders. Make him a special dinner - or buy him a little gift, or a treat.  Surprise him with thoughtful gestures, and don't forget to say "thank you" often! You can create an environment of care and thoughtfulness that can be contagious, and when you are both treating each other that way — your marriage can be an oasis of happy feelings in the midst of day to day strife and anxiety. 

Forgive Freely:

Ah, forgiveness; it's a superpower in marriage! You're both going to make mistakes, but be quick to forgive and let go of grudges. Remember, "forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32).  Forgiveness allows healing and restoration, creating an environment of grace and unconditional love. And we all need it, don’t we?

Keep the Flame Alive:

Intimacy is a gift from God, so keep the flame alive in your marriage. Romance doesn't have to fade; it can grow stronger with time! Real intimacy involves emotional and spiritual connection, trust, loyalty and honestly - and yes, physical intimacy as well. There is nothing in the world that bonds two people together like knowing that there are special things that you only share with each other, and that those things are cherished and protected by both of you. 

Face Challenges Together:

Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:28 (NIV), “Those who marry will face many troubles in this life.” Life will throw challenges your way, but remember, you're a team. Face them together, hand in hand, and trust that God is walking with you every step of the way. In the NLT, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken”.  The two of you with God is a triple braid that has immense strength. Stand together!

Never Stop Growing:

Marriage is a journey of growth and discovery. Never stop growing individually and as a couple. Keep learning from each other and exploring new adventures together.  Research shows that learning keeps our brains healthy and adds to our sense of self-fulfillment - and growing and learning together strengthens that bond between the two of you —  and, no doubt, gives opportunity to pick up a few more of those “inside jokes” along the way!

Embrace this journey of Christian marriage with love, laughter, and the wisdom of God's Word. Seek His guidance together, communicate with love, and cherish every moment with each other. Embrace imperfections, forgive freely, and keep the flame of intimacy burning bright. Face challenges as a team and never stop growing and learning together. Remember, a strong foundation built on love, faith, and God's guidance can weather any storm that comes your way. Hold hands tightly, face the future with joy and courage, and let the beauty of Christian marriage keep unfolding before your eyes. Here's to a lifetime of love and laughter!